How TO Boost your Self-Confidence
by: Maryann Troiani
Everyone craves happiness and feeling good about themselves. Unfortunately, psychologists spend very little time finding out how people can feel upbeat. In a 20-year review of psychological research articles, about 20,000 delved into depression and 27,000 studied anxiety. Only 1,664 focused on happiness. So, the public could not rely on psychologists to help them easily boost their happiness. My article shows you how to feel happy and confident.
You cannot psych yourself into feeling self-confident. Instead, to feel self-confident, you must do things that give you good factual reasons to feel upbeat and enthused about yourself. You can choose to feel self-confident. You also can choose to feel unconfident. It's your decision.
To uncover what women actually do to boost their self-confidence, my co-author and I surveyed about 500 women. Our findings are reported in our book, CHANGE YOUR UNDERWEAR -- CHANGE YOUR LIFE: Quick & Easy Ways To Make Your Life Fun, Exciting & Vibrant.
Survey respondents were asked, "List 2 things you do that make you feel good about you." We categorized the responses into five key areas of life, as shown below:
Area of Life & Typical Responses
Self
Being nice to others
Taking full responsibility for my life
Organizing my space
Physical
Exercising
Looking super & put together
Eating healthy
Work
Doing my job superbly
Taking seminar about my work
Getting a promotion
Social
Making a fuss over my friends
Having lots of friends
Spending delightful time with friends
Family
Doing unexpected favor for family member
Giving love to my significant others
Everyone craves to feel self-confident. But, it often seems so hard to figure out how. Here are some painless ways to boost your confidence and self-esteem:
TIP #1: Disconnect from toxic people
To become happier and more confident -- avoid emotional vampires. Unhappy people allow “emotional vampires” to suck their positive feelings right out of their skulls. Emotional vampires include people who put you down, criticize or mock you, or sabotage your dreams and aspirations. Never let snipers or negative people shoot holes in your boat. These types of people drain the life out of you.
TIP #2: Connect with positive people
Disconnect from your TV set and start connecting with people. Make a fuss over friends, family and other people who buoy you up.
TIP #3: Smile a lot
Psychological research proved that a person emotionally feels the emotion he or she is acting at the moment. So, if you act cheerful, you feel cheerful. And smiling is the fastest way to act happy and confident. Also, your smile is contagious. It makes people want to catch you.
TIP #4: P.D.A.
Glorify people with public displays of appreciation. Shower people you like with thank-you notes, hugs, smiles, and calls to thank them. When you help them feel magnificent, they have a vested interest in helping you feel super.
TIP #5: Care for people or objects that make you feel good
My survey of over 500 women reported in the Change Your Underwear -- Change Your Life book showed a chief way to boost self-confidence is to care for another person, pets, plants, and even dolls. What goes around, comes around, and when you care for others you, in effect, care for yourself at the same time.
Overall, I urge people to take personal responsibility for their self-confidence. I recommend each person take at least one action each day that makes him or her feel proud.
The best way to feel self-confident is to do things that give you good reasons to feel confident. Here are some more suggestions:
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How TO Boost your Self-Confidence
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About The Author
Maryann Troiani, Psy.D., is a speaker, media personality and consultant with The Mercer Group, Inc., in Barrington, Illinois. She delivers speeches & workshops at meetings & conferences. She co-authored 2 books, “Change Your Underwear – Change Your Life: Quick & Easy Ways to Make Your Life Fun, Exciting & Vibrant”, and "SPONTANEOUS OPTIMISM: Proven Strategies for Health, Prosperity & Happiness." Dr. Troiani has tele-coached many people. You can email her at drmary@mercersystems or call 847-382-0690.
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